Version #1


I’m contemplating.

Whether or not I should still care

About you when you continue to lie to

Me over and over again.

I want to move on but you are making it hard for me

You tell me you miss me and I forgive you.

When we get things going again you build me up and

Make me break down all my barriers I put up against you just so you can make me

Feel small again,just to show me that you never really meant anything you ever said.

Why do you do that?

You do that because you are a coward you know without me you would be nothing and that scares you. Am I right.?

You would rather break me down enough to where I feel like I’m unwanted,to where I can’t breathe because I’m choking on the poison you give me.

But that makes you feel good right?

To just sit there and watch me choke and suffer in pain while you  just sit there

And smile at me and treat me as if I was being desperate or easy.

You.You are the definition of mentally deranged.You are cruel.You are My worst heartbreak.

Why did you do this to me?

And if I ask you.You wouldn’t have a clue as to what you have done to me.

You would look at me as if I was a sad puppy as if I was over reacting.

You used the word LOVE and you abused it.

Instead of Love you Gave me hell with a passion and fire.

I hate it that I’m addicted to the flame that keeps on flickering over on your side.

I allow myself to think you will change,that you will get better,that you will become more of a man than a little boy.

I hope maybe I can hurt you the way you have hurt me.

You know what I can’t do that I can’t hurt you because I don’t have it

In me to do.I can’t stoop that low to make you suffer the way I am suffering about you.

Leave me alone.

I am unhappy with you and all the things you have made me become.


You are the constant thought  that won’t leave my head and for some reason,i like the poison even though it’s bad for me.


Shorten version # 2


I’m contemplating.

Whether or not I should care about you when you continue to lie to me and tell me

You choose me.You abused the word love several times and yet i have forgiven you.You like seeing me hurt.You are nothing more than a coward,a mentally deranged person.You are sick.

Why do i keep coming back?

Because I am addicted to that thought in the back of my head that tells me you are going to change.That you are going to become more of a man instead of a little boy.

You inject me with poison.You screw with my head.You make me hate feeling unwanted.

For some reason I like it.I like it because I am use to it.

2 thoughts on “Anger..”

  1. I see the raw emotion, and I remember feeling that way before in my lifetime. I just want to say that I hope things get better for you. I’ll have to disagree with you on your last line in the second version though.

    I don’t think you “like” the treatment you receive at all. If you liked it, you wouldn’t be letting it out in this manner. You don’t like being left feeling unwanted. Each time you “try”, you do it because you sincerely have hope that your friend will change.

    I hate to sound like a broken Christian record, but Jesus loves you. He wants you. Remember that, and thank you for sharing your feelings.

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