I was with two other people and I knew them. We were friends. We trusted each other. We were drunk.
For some reason the girl thought it would be ok to drive and we fell in line. I sat in the back of the car on the passenger side. The front passenger side window was down and as open as it could be. The driver pulled out and took a left onto a ramp with a downward slope. Was it that the drive lost interest and passed out? Was there a slight curve to what seemed to be a straight shot? Was there any coherence?
The car drifted into the side wall on the passenger side. The driver had no reaction, she seemed to be asleep. I could hear and feel the car scraping along the wall. We came off the wall and found it again…and once more…there was road shrapnel coming through the window and my face was the bullseye. I realized my seatbelt wasn’t on and I attempted to shield my face with my arms. It was like a terrible ride I couldn’t get off of – through my shield I felt my lip and neck taking on bits of concrete, metal?, wood?… then gravity doing what it does, pulled the car into a tailspin from its nose. … the car came off the wall and we were spinning – it seemed so slow like a music box ballerina … cars whizzed by – their version of time and ours seemed to be on different systems of measurement. I felt a gravitational pull, assuming it was a close miss by another driver. I felt a bump. I felt us slide. The car started to turn. I wanted my seatbelt on.
Things finally stopped moving and then nothing happened. No one was screaming. No one was moving. Things felt dead. I felt my body collapse and relax. I felt one last ounce of attempt. A final thought on how to get out of the car. I gave in. I stayed. My body was broken. There was no will left. There was regret. There was heartbreak.
I saw the car from above – it was nasty. It was scary. There was glass and the car looked like a little tuna can that had been crushed. The strong, happy blue paint told a different story now. I was alone. I was out of it. Then nothing.