The past few weeks have been very hard. I’ve been going through this self destructive path and i’ve not only hurt myself but others around me and it wasn’t even my intentions. I didn’t really think…i mean i knew it would hurt my partner but all i really that about at that time was masking my pain. See my mom loves blaming me for getting kidnapped and molested.. I don’t know…i haven’t had that talk with her since ive been in therapy for 6 months now and just hearing her say that brought me down. So down that i went out looking for guys and just used them for their drugs. I thought drugs were going to stop my hurting heart but it only made things worse. I was lying to my boyfriend, stealing his xanax and getting “zooted”, taking drugs, feeling even more depressed because of the drugs…but i talked to my psychologist and came clean about my destructive path and i’m glad i stopped before i got to far ahead.