Life feels crazy

Ive started reading the news again…probably not a good idea but i need something to do…ive even started responding to some topics with a little humor….but really…the world has so many problems its overwhelming and scary when I think of facing whatever disaster lies ahead, alone. I always knew you could take care of us if we lived in a cave,,,my reason for wanting to survive any catastrophic event was you…I  dont have the will to struggle for survival too long or hard. I hate facing everything without you. I hate not having anyone to keep me grounded. Sometimes life doesnt even seem real…its like I’m watching my life through the lens of a camera. I was in disbelief today about what I  did this weekend…it seemed surreal and I’m feeling regret now. It can’t posslbly lead to anything more than superficial attraction. I can keep a secret…but can ??? I miss you always….please be waiting for me when its time for me to blow this popcycle stand. I love you…

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