Day 1

I started right where I began. This process called the  break up…my so called baybay….Should I not wear the ring he gave me.. All the teddy bears and his jacket sitting in my room. I was lucky enough to get a new phone so that I didn’t have to delete EVERY single video and picture one by one 😩. Unfortunately I already did due to our last argument. I’m not quite sure if i want to let him go. I know I’m better off but only to focus more on school  but lately my focus is on him I just can’t get him out of my head.  But then again there’s some distractions like school and work. I’ve purposely been working almost 50 hours a week to stay busy and mind off him. May 9th was gonna be our 2 year anniversary. Will he contact me beforehand? Why can’t things work out why cant he just hold me and lay beside me or sleep with me for the night. About a week ago we slept together and it  was the best sleep I had gotten in a long time. And we hadn’t had sleep overs in a while. I get chills just thinking about it. I just wanted one last night/day with him.okay.i hate to be pushy and needy I just hated the way things ended. I loved too hard…oh baybay I miss you . .. I’m so tempted to text him but he wants nothing to do with me,  I’m pretty sure I said DONT text him at least 10times today. The more I think about  it the more I cry. I cried at work at home and my car ride to school. I tried to hate him to make the tears stop but it’s a waste of my energy and I’m not mad ( even tho I should be)

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