Going Solo

My heart was beating faster when I scrolled down the list. And my eyes stopped at 93. My name is written there! This is the 4th times they called me for interview. Well I came once, but something happened and here I am. Repeating the same process, again. But this time, I have a feeling that I will get it, faster than my plan.

Yup, I will be leaving Jakarta soon. I have been wanting to go since 2014 when my brother’s girlfriend asked me to join her. She got her Work & Holiday Visa and left in July 2014. My parents did not allow me to go. Then I met Dennis, he also left last year. I wanted to join, but I did not have courage to ask my parents. I know they won’t allow me.

But now, things are changing. My Dad supports me. I know I had a good life already. No more doing long distance relationship, nice job, chances to open business. But something inside me is urging me to go. It is like, “Challenge yourself. Go to a place where you know no one. Survive and grow!”

I am going to leave my comfort zone. I will be apart from him (again). Sounds silly, I know. But somehow I feel everything will be OK for us. As long as we TRUST and LOVE each other. We do have COMMITMENT and same vision. I am a classic person that needs to ask, “Will you wait for me?” then I will be better.
Now I am imagining how it feels to see him through Skype again. Painful. 

Looking at my staffs also made me feel sad. They have been very nice. Every laughter and effort when we did all the events with media presses. All the jokes, scoldings, the anger that turned to tears that I shared with my boss. I love this Marketing team. Marketing people are creative so we don’t like following rules and that’s why Marketing is special here. 😉 We do funny funny things and I wish I could see what CCTV has recorded! LOL (until now I have no idea who’s looking at CCTV in this room :p). 

I know every hello ends with goodbye. I need to be stronger, learn and grow to be a better person who has better mind and of course a better soul. And I only have this chance before tied to someone (read : get married) hahaha. Oh my, friends are having babies and I am going to wander oversea, alone. Only dead fishes follow the stream. 🙂

Let’s pack your heart, Fenicia! <3

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