So this is my first journal. For that reason, and that reason only, I’m going to tell you a little about myself;
My name’s Mila and nothing is perfect in my life. Maybe you were expecting some sort of pretty, well ordered fact file on me? My birthday, my favorite color..
But that’s not how I work.
I find the things that are beautiful in life. When I blink its a fresh opportunity, a new light. And I blink a lot, we all do. However, we don’t all see things the way people like I do.
This way on life can be difficult, and its not necessarily the ‘best’ way of living. Who can determine what that way is- no one has the slightest bit of power to do that. No scientist, no millionaire, no homeless man, however grateful and sorry he is. Not the so called ‘God’ in the sky that has the pretentious touch to tear people apart in moments. Not me, nor you.
We ALL have different perceptions on the world. Some look around and see anger and evil. Some see good and light. Others see a mixture. I see black and white. Not literally, but everything is so blank. And with every blink, I hope that color comes into my vision. That I can be filled with dangerous reds, sad blues and happy greens.
Yet, I don’t feel. I don’t feel anything- when I see someone dying inside I just walk away… Tears aren’t a part of me. Nor is laughing. Ever since depression and stress and anxiety and growing up took me over, I can’t think. I’m clever, I do well. I fool people with my fake smiles and normal attitude to the world. But I’m scared. Scared I’ll never see like everyone else has the power to.
Anyway.. That’s me: Mila.