April 20 6:52 pm – Had to go out and get blood work done, hit the bank and laundromat. I just couldn’t do it. It was so bad that I cried at the laundromat. Mind you in all this the husband was with me so I wasn’t alone and I still just couldn’t do it. Nose is running and I don’t have a cold or allergies. I’m just a mess. I came home and collapsed in my unmade bed and this was earlier today and now look at the time of this writing. I just can’t understand why this horrible feeling this time isn’t improving at all. Let me explain this exhaustion with this scenario. I do not have any broken bones and am not in a wheelchair or bedbound or anything like that. HOWEVER if my house were to catch on fire I highly doubt I would be able to get out. I wouldn’t have the strength. Anyway during my collapse in bed I fell asleep and had a dream about work and how I decided I would go but didn’t realize the time and missed getting there at the right time and didn’t do an appropriate call-off in a timely manner thus risking losing my job. Is that called a night terror in the day time. There is no way I can do 8-9 hours tomorrow.

One thought on this horrendous feeling is that the one chemo drug is affecting my heart muscle. a very possible side effect.   I had a baseline echo but they haven’t scheduled another one as of yet.  Or maybe it is just the build up of chemo drugs in my system.


2 thoughts on “MY JOURNEY WITH THE big c”

  1. Oh sweetheart I am so very sorry. With the chemo and the cancer and all you are going through it could be anything! And your regular schedule is a difficult one…laundromat for example…that is an amazingly tough chore that healthy me would not want to talk. I’m praying for you and sending virtual hugs.

Leave a Comment: