Another night has passed. . I did get a text saying good night. I wish he knew what that meant to me. I am so unsure whether or not I should respond. I just don’t feel right in doing so when Erika is there.
So today is pool. I’ll do my hair and make up carefully so I feel better about myself and try my best think I’ll leave my phone turned off in my purse so I don’t check it a million times like I have the last couple days. Mom is going home today, I’ve enjoyed her composition but it’s time for some alone time to. Maybe I’ll call ms Shasta and see if she is busy tonight. I could use the quiet safe comfort her house offers to me.
Slept a little bit. But dreams kept me restless and kept waking me. Had to use my inhaler a few times but still haven’t cut. ms Shasta have me another full for helping to deal with it. I’m willing to try anything.
2 more sleeps. 1 more full day after today then I guess we’ll see what my future holds. Either way, it’s been a good run. Lots of fun. Wouldn’t change the things e experienced and the way he makes me feel for anything. I’ll always treasure that. I love him I know that. I doubt that will ever change
I have noticed so many things this past few days. No pictures of us I can share with family. Just on fet to love or comment on bodacious babes stuff. No word about missing his girl. Missing his slave. It has seemed. Felt. Like I’m invisible. And why doesn’t he want me to meet her? I expressed to him that I want too. Feeling like the other woman. The dirty secret. The second insignificant girl.
Then having it out with griff last night didn’t help He was slamming Chris. Slamming me huge. Apparently of I was willing to try harder I might make an “ok” submissive. But never a slave. And that kajira shit is just a bullshit game. Fortunately im to the point of numbness.