Not taking anymore mind-altering medications

Last Monday I had to return to my psychiatrist i go to for anxiety and depression. I’m pretty much dependent on one med for anxiety and anti-depressants kill my appetite so I don’t use or take them anymore. Also bad side effects. It’s kind of a catch 22 for an anxious person to try some new drug from the doctor. So she said to try Abilify which is mostly for bipolar or schizophrenia that I do not have.

So I was open minded and I said OK. But I was unsure if I would even take it or of I did for how long. She explained how I would need lab work regularly which is already being done every three months or so. I even had to sign a paper that she had explained some of the side effects and things that I might have happen and so forth. Felt like I was signing myself over to the devil. Eh, well, anyway, I decided to do my proactive research and not be a dumb person who will take anything. 

After reading the warnings and side effects, I was thinking there was NO way I was going to take this med. If I have a sensitivity, why would I risk it? Or why would I risk permanent damage to my body? I am already too depressed dealing with other health issues and anxiety. I’m doing OK right now. My life is not perfect and it is not a rose garden. That’s life. 

It’s too bad that it is that way. I just cannot put myself in that position anymore. This way I’m not losing anything, really. I’ve faced it an accepted that I have limitations and I will not have a so called normal life. I don’t really want it anyway. I can’t handle that. There is no way I am going to get on some miracle medicine that makes me happy and jolly all the time. I’ve been this trial and error for 21 years of meds that don’t work or leave me with terrible side effects. I was pretty anxious long before I took any kind of medication. I spent the last 29 years off and on to therapists and psychiatrists. 

I’ve just got to do what makes me feel good. And it helps me cope. I don’t drink or do any drugs I am not supposed to take. I take supplements, etc which has helped a little. i am not going to take anymore meds they give me. Last year I resigned myself to that.

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