Delicate

I miss you.

I am with someone else and I miss you.

And it makes me sad 

and I get pissed off that it makes me sad.

You are not welcome

Get out of my life

I miss your hands

And your hair

And your kisses and hugs 

I had a dream about you last night, love. 

You were walking ahead of me and I needed to talk to you

had to make eye contact with you

craved your voice responding to me and so I called out your name

and I gently touched your shoulder 

and vibrations moved through my body and you 

turned to face me with your brown eyes with specks of green pulsing through them

and I went to speak and you did not give me time 

because as soon as I had inhaled to speak you cupped my face with both of your hands

and you kissed me.

And I wrapped my fingers in your hair and pulled you close 

and you wrapped your arms around me and I felt home 

because I could feel your tongue playfully fighting with mine

and i could feel your heart thumping against your chest 

and I was with you again

and I woke up and cried.

Why are you here still?

I cannot escape you

You are everywhere.

In my school, in my town, in my head, in my dreams, in my heart.

I miss you I miss you I miss you 

and I shouldn’t 

you don’t deserve my tears or my desires 

bbut I give them to you like you own them

God dammit. 

You broke my heart even though I ended things.

You’ve broken my soul and I just want myself back.

I want you back.

I want love again.

i am a mess.

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