… another day …

April 27th, 2016 (Wednesday)

230pm – Not sure how to feel right about now …. Things seem normal but you can tell/feel there’s something sitting between us … Monday night was fine but by the time Hub left for work Tuesday morning, I felt like I hadn’t even seen him – The only reason I felt better about that was because he actually said the same thing before I even mentioned it. 

So last night, was more of the same, if not, worse.  Teenager and I got home later than usual (@ 430pm) … Hub was in his office when we got home and that’s fine and all .. He comes out 45 mins to an hour later, sits on the couch for about 5 mins, then gets up and says he’s going down to the mancave … ok (I guess) … He finally comes back up stairs around 730pm wanting something to eat.  I told him dinner had been ready since 5pm so now I have to re-heat everything – I asked him if he even realized how long he’d been downstairs, He said no and when I told him 2 hours, and that in the 3 hours I’d been home, I’d only seen him for about 5 mins.  He apologized and that’s fine (didn’t feel genuine) – We ate, he sat on his couch, I sat on mine – He was on his tablet, I was sketching – Just nothing … A couple looks at each other, a couple I Love You’s … but no feeling

He headed for a shower around 1130pm, it may have been a little later than normal but fine, just meant that I probably wouldn’t get mine until after he left for work … He comes out, showered and half dressed, and says “Come on babe, I’ve got a shower running for you” …. not normal … He leads me back and starts this whole make out session (since when) and helps me into the shower.  That was probably the most physical attention I’ve had in, oh, a week-ish ….

Nice hot shower, fresh and clean and I walk back into the living room and I feel like I don’t exsist all over again – He’s so engulfed in whatever he’s doing on his tablet …. Nothing even said until he’s ready to leave for work … When he left, I told him it felt like I hadn’t seen him again and he responded he thought it was better than the night before … Ok …. Limbo once again ….

One good thing, got through Tuesday without crying and I’ve done pretty well today so far but then again the day’s not over ….

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