Episode 2: Value and Meaning in Fantasy

Chose to draw this for A some time ago, I think during Christmas. I even got it on a small wooden plaque Wal-Mart was offering for fairly cheap. He adored it, thankfully. Funny enough I didnt even work too hard on it, P ordered it from me for a Christmas gift and I had forgotten about it, so I literally had only a couple of days to draw out the thing. Silly me right.
It features our characters from dungeons and dragons, Erius and Alanna. Since their more recent creation he has found high value in them as I have, but I think for different reasons.
As previously explained, they are childhood friends. After Erius left for the monastery as a child Alanna continued her studies in healing, however she could never match the skill of her elder brother what with being stuck in the small mining town. Upon Erius’s return, his hand extended out from her window asking for her to join him in his adventures, she gladly accepts. Leaving the small town was refreshing and she was finally able to venture out and explore her own skills as a doctor.
The two are best friends, although their attitudes are completely different. He is ignorant of the world, childish, freakishly optimistic and fully believes all people are good until they prove otherwise. He also believes himself a higher being, thinking himself a “god stuck on this planet to show and correct mans wrongdoings”. Thus he refers to himself as “god”, or more likely “Lord” as this seems to have gotten him much more attention and less snickers. Alanna is more realistic, and attempts to reel in her companion when she finds him doing unsavory and rather ridiculous things in the name of “being a lord and god”. She is absolutely bewildered as to how he keeps charming people not only into his group, but apparently in the belief of his godhood. She is also sick of his recklace behavior, as “gods dont die” and thus he rushes into battle with not a care in the world.
So I wonder why we value these two out of all the others we’ve made. Theyre rather low level, and their classes lead to the two of us not doing a whole hell of a lot in either damage or basic healing outside of magical items. Perhaps its the connection and their attitudes towards one another that we found endearing.
A and I used to be in a relationship. A strained one, but a relationship none the less, for almost eight years of our rather young lives at the time. The problems mounted; his fathers prison time, the house being taken from them, his fathers cancer, his mothers depression, his siblings abandonment, and ultimately his fathers death. I myself was having problems, although never to those degrees. The biggest problem at the time was I had long since lost any romantic feelings I had for A, but with his family going through these extreme life changing events I couldnt just leave him. They kept piling on top of one another again and again and it became a mountain of frustration and depression. Eventually, before he left for college, I let him go in hopes he could move on to another woman in his degree. This never happened, and here we stand almost ten years later still with each other, but not in a relationship.
Do these characters represent that? They’re not in love, surely its too early for something like that, but they’re emotions for each other go beyond that. I’ve often thought about drawing out the adventures of the party for the entertainment of not only my group, but everyone as a whole, but would I involve a romantic subplot later? I probably could, easily. They have enough chemistry for that, and I could add smaller details as I go. Would it have a tragic ending or be a happy one of peace and tranquility? I’ve never been much for endings of a content nature. Would I include a love that was never met, and instead torn away long before anything could develop? Why am I so invested?
I wonder if characters represent us as a whole. If Erius is my strange optimism even in the light of all the hell in this world, what would my other characters be? Ernst is a mumbling phobic sociopath with a desire to cleanse the world of all the blight through fire. Is he my hatred of society and my disgust with the way things have been going for myself and others? Or is he just my odd carnal desire for revenge and ultimately death to those who’ve scorned me, something I will never see in reality. Is Mutou my desire to be seen as a real woman, and not the child that Im often portrayed as being even at my adult age? Or is she merely an excuse to use a valley girl accent and be especially feminine. Does any of this really have a meaning, or is this just a means of venting out the frustrations of the week by pretending to finally be someone else Im not.
Maybe thats why I like fantasy so much. Reading, drawing, playing it. Its a means of escape, if even for a few minutes. To drown out the reality that is life and immerse in something where I can be the hero (or even the villain, why not?!). I can have that large band of friends that even through true adversary, we will stick together and take down the baddy, or go down together doing it. There is true weight in decisions and everyone is constantly being forced to show their true colors. We find solace in each other, and even during the most stormiest of nights we can huddle together and sing tales of our strengths. The fighting, the dragons, the drama, the emotions. Everything coming together to create a world free of the numbness of reality.
This is not whining. I have a fine life, with the few people I value. I want for little, minus maybe a small raise and a bed thats not borderline filled with rocks. I can enjoy my small adventures when I please such as conventions and Im able to put food at the table for my small ones. Sometimes though, its nice to imagine something more and immerse yourself in that, even for just a short while.
Plus, as a support character, Im able to do these things. No one even notices. Comes with the territory. Ill be a support character with a quirk and let the main characters pull the primary story along.
Lucky me right?!

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