Day 63 – More emotions, or none at all?

Friday, April 29th 2016

The tiredness has returned.

Today was kind of odd emotionally, again. I was tired and fustrated, then I felt like everything was drained from me, then I felt… nothing, as if I felt everything at once, yet nothing at all.

On phone again. Weird spacing.

Day 1

1st Period (09:10-10:25)


Started out alright. Teacher left middle of the class and we had a sub. Got frustrated with out work, could not concentrate.

2nd Period (10:35-1:50)

Visual Arts

Finished my stained glass, looks alright I guess. My close friend and I worked on our poster. Couldn’t replicate the background she was doing for it. We talked about other stuff as well and it was a good conversation, even though I don’t remember much of it.

Lunch (11:50-12:50)

Yesterday I had a chicken burger, today I had noodles with a ton of cheese. Definitely an upgrade from constantly having tuna sandwiches. Other than that, I told my close friend (not the art one) that 10 Cloverfield Lane wasn’t that bad, but she thought otherwise. We then changed subject and she proceeded to show “How not to do an interview”. It was really funny.

3rd Period (12:50-14:05)


My teammate came up to me and when he said he didn’t do his diagram, I said ” Of course. As expected.” I realise that was very rude especially after he seemed to be sighing a lot and definitely a lot more quiet than usual. Something wasn’t right and I made it worse. He did it anyway, and it wasn’t great, but I tried not to say much about it.

4th Period (14:15-15:30)


Read some more Animal Farm. We did some grammar stuff such as progressive and perfect, which I didn’t know existed until yesterday and had no use for it so far. We then started on our next project. Oh, we also got our report cards for mid semester. Let’s see this :

– Visual Arts : 83%, class average is 78%. Not bad, not bad.

– English : 78%, class average is 76%. Felt like I could be doing better, but that was only for the first two evaluated things anyway. I’m maybe 80% now.

– French : 82% first semester, class average is 79% and 83% second sesmterx class average is 78%. Barely any changes I see, but doing good.

– Math (the only teacher who ever have me “S” (sastifying) on abilities and habits. I usually have “E” and “T” (excellent and very good) : 78% first semester, class average is 79%, 76% second semester,class average is 76%. Alright, I’m average at least.

– Science : 84%, class average is 75%. I expected to have a 90%, but 84% is still very good.

There are a few comments the teachers did I do agree with, then there’s the “should participate more in class” that I had ever since I was in kindergarten. Look, I’m shy, okay teachers? Commenting on the report card won’t make any difference after I’ve seen it for the 50th time (not even an exageration).

After School

Played a lot of Town of Salem, but the towns I was in were ridiculous. Later we watched Cloverfield (not 10 Cloverfield Lane, just Cloverfield) and it is much more suspenseful and scary (sorta scary) than the last one. I was actually scared when characters were in trouble and scared too. That’s a reason why I like empathy, allows you to be emerged completely into the film.

I have to go to sleep. You can feel the tiredness from my writing. Also, I have to go to a funeral for my pastor’s sister. I don’t like to, cause I never knew her, I feel like I don’t belong, but he was there for us when my grandfather died, so it’s only fair to be there for him. There are too much deaths going on lately. I’m surprised that my grandfather’s death was all the way back in summer and now summer is starting again. Time flies by fast. I miss him…

Oh, I also told my friend that I dreamed of Alfred from X Company. It’s his younger 16 year old self. He was telling a girl a joke and she didn’t think it was funny. I laughed and he said “See! She thought it was!” Then he said two other ones, but you need photographic memory to understand, so we didn’t laugh. He then later sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders and I was gonna hug him, but I woke up. Come on! I never got to hug one of my favourite fictional characters in my dreams. That’s a goal of mine now. I also wish I could remember what his jokes were…

That’s all for today.

Leave a Reply