How I feel

I’ve been mentally ill for so long now
that sometimes I don’t even realise
how bad it is anymore.

Like I sit here with my anxiety bubbling
away for no reason and I’m like “This is
fine.”

And I’m considering suicide like “This is
normal.”

I isolate myself constantly like “How
am I going to avoid everyone today?”

And I walk around in a dissociated
state, not remember what I’ve done
each day thinking “It must be
Halloween soon.” even though it’s April.

This is my ‘norm’ and that’s why I feel
like I’m never going to recover.

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