Pain Meds

I miss my pain meds.  They say find a sliver lining in every cloud, and those were mine.  After surgery they gave me a prescription for Norco.  I had a couple here and there before from a few friends or getting wisdom teeth taking out but never in a steady supply or large quantity.  Looking back I should have saved some but the pull was too great.  I watch shows like House and Nurse Jackie because I feel like I identify with the characters.  We all have our vices, pain meds were mine.  Were.  I really wasn’t in that much pain after the surgery, I mean not enough for me to actually need them, yet I took them on a pretty regular basis.  It was like “the most perfect day of your life.”  All your worries and fears go away.  Even just for an hour or two, life wasn’t so hard to cope with.  Just a few days ago I tried to have them refilled but my doctor denied my request.  No warning or anything.  I guess the drug regulations are much stricter involving those drugs and now there have been so many deaths that they aren’t as easy to come by.  I was worried about withdrawl since I had been taking them so regularly.  I did have a little bit of an upset stomach here and there, RLS at night, and insomnia probably due to the RLS but nothing too crazy.  It’s been about 3 maybe 4 days since I’ve been off of them and I just can’t help feeling like I’ve lost a good friend. I’m not really in any physical pain except for a mild soreness but I really miss it because it helped me emotionally.  My emotional state is far overriding my physical state.  It’s probably better this way but I just feel so depressed.  Once you know how it feels when you’re on it, you can’t help but want to feel like that all the time.  RIP pain meds, it’s been nice knowing you and I will think of you fondly and often.  Maybe we shall meet again…In other news, my boyfriend is coming over tonight.  We have a routine of him coming over Wednesday night through Saturday.  It’s his days off and well my everyday off (until I start work very soon).  He’s been really supportive throughout this whole thing but these days we’re just bored.  We’re both pretty broke right now so we can’t really do much.  Most of our days are spent trying to come up with new activities or even small errands to run just to fill out our day.  I don’t think it’s even fun anymore it’s more like a chore.  I’m not sure if it’s just the situation or our relationship.  We’ve been together almost 3 years.  I love him, I do, and I realize this situation will either break us or make us stronger.  So this is my last week of “freedom,” before I return to work and the shit storm slowly rains down.  Hopefully we can think of something fun to do as I like to call it, my last hurrah. 


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