After being emotionally committed to my ex for three years, I finally sealed my stupidity for him. I remember how every day, I never missed an image of him passing in my head. I was always thinking of bumping into him and how would that affect me. I used to daydream that he would personally message me and create funny conversations. I used to imagine how after all these years, we never lost the love we once built. But that feels like a million years ago because I realized how foolish I was.
One day, I unexpectedly received a message from him. I never regret the way I treat him in that conversation. How cruel and bitter I got. How I was furious about all the things he said. And how disappointed I felt because we both have changed. But those raging feelings made me think on cutting all the ties with him.
I finally got rid of my ex.
Because I’m falling for someone else.
People say lots of stuff about moving on. They say that loving yourself would help you build the broken pieces of yourself again. I actually believe that.
Some say forgetting someone needs a lot of time and surrounding yourself to friends and family is another technique to finally move on. Well, I don’t quite believe that because it only causes you temporary happiness. Sometimes crowd doesn’t ease the loneliness, it actually makes you feel more alone.
The best efficient way to forget a person is to fall for another. Of course, it takes time and a deep realization.
So, I fell for my friend.
I fell for how he wraps me around his arms.
I fell for how he would always come to me without necessary reasons.
I fell for how we would laugh at random topics.
I fell for the world we build.
But this world isn’t a fantasy where you can get a happy ending. A blind man and a voiceless woman is the best combination for eternal unhappiness.
So, here I am again. After three years of pursuing myself to move on, yes, I finally did. I just wasn’t aware that after moving on, I need to move again. But at this point, I don’t know how many years it would take and how much tears I could possibly cry.
Moving on is a never ending process if you haven’t found the one that could save you. And I’m tired of this loophole. I just want to be saved.