Messed up at work..

I’m not trying to think of excuses, but it was during the time that I was going through a very, very rough moment with my mom being in the hospital. I was extremely sad, moody, and just not motivated to do anything.

I sort of KNEW I was going to mess up at work. I just KNEW it. I work in real estate, and it’s my responsibility to deposit earnest money checks. Well, guess who forgot to deposit a check? This girl. Luckily it didn’t mess up the contract or screw up the lender, so that was a blessing, but I have never been so scared in my entire life. I legitimately thought I was going to get fired. It was a bad, bad, bad, bad bad BAD mistake. I actually cried at my desk, started BAWLING, and I just beat myself up so bad about it. It was such a bad week. It’s really strange because I don’t cry that often, but I guess I needed to.

Ever since, I’m so damn paranoid of doing anything because I’m so afraid I’ll mess up. I’m a good employee, even though it’s a slow office, but the more paranoid I get… the more I mess up, dammit!

Good news, though – I just got my time off approved for next month. We’re going to Nevada to escape – have some drinks by the pool, have lots of ‘fun’ with the husband, and gamble! Where I’m from, we’re not allowed to gamble.. so it’s nice to be able to go to casinos and do that sort of thing.

Kidney is doing much better! I’ve been feeling sickish lately, most likely because I’m on a month long antibiotic (I always have side effects) but I’m feeling less pain. I’ve been following my doctor’s directions extremely closely (TMI) but going to the bathroom once an hour, and getting up from my desk and taking a lap around the office, with my cute little tumbler full of water. I guess sitting down at a desk all day can raise the risks of my reoccurrent UTIs and kidney infections.

Everything looks good. Now if the weather would cheer up, I would feel almost 100% better than I did last month.

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