Back at work

Yesterday was my first day back to work since the accident.  I was a nervous wreck.  I’m generally a quiet person and I’ve had an anxiety/depressive disorder since high school so I almost felt like it was my VERY first day at work.  I had to take a bunch of Xanax just to stop from shaking like a chihuahua.  I just didn’t want to deal with all the questions and having to explain my situation over and over again.  Plus, it had been so long I was worried I’d forget what to do.  I was surprised about the number of people who noticed my absence.  Like I said I’m a quiet person but it’s not like I don’t ever talk to people at work or make conversation but it still was overwhelming.  After that whole part was over, work was so hectic!  It was busy and had been busy since I left.  I know it’ll take me awhile to get back in the groove so to speak.  My feet actually hurt more than my hip did because I’m not used to walking that much.  I could have used some Norcos for some moral support.  Xanax just makes me so sleepy.  Hopefully with my first day out of the way, the rest won’t be as nerve wracking.  I have today and the next few days off and then I work for two and then I’m off for two.  I actually requested the weekend off because my good friend Gregory invited me to an event.  Gregory will always hold a special place in my heart.  I met him before I met my boyfriend and we never dated but we always had a special…thing…I dunno what to call it.  Some of it was sexual and some was just casual.  We went on a few trips together and went to dinner a lot.  Most people would call that dating but we never saw each other often enough for that.  I guess if you want to label it you could call it ‘friends with benefits.’  Our relationship is just so weird.  I’ve never had one like it before and as much as it sounds like one thing, I don’t feel we even fit a label.  He’s an older guy and has that whole Fifty Shades of Grey vibe going on.  I just can’t imagine him not being in my life in some sort of aspect.  So we’ll see what the weekend brings.  Other than that I’m going to try and get back in shape.  Being on crutches for almost 3 months really leaves you with nothing to do but eat. 

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