Since she left, everything feels grey. Colors are dull, and I feel like I’m spinning out of control. When I had her, everything finally felt right, I had peace for the first time in my life. When she left, something snapped in my head, I’ve never felt it before and I don’t know how to process it.
I’ve done everything I can over these last 5 weeks to keep my head above water, but I’m drowning. Every day I feel like I spiral further out of control, and I don’t know how to stop it. I feel like I’m stacking up bad decisions with no end in sight. I don’t even feel like the last two years were real, it feels like a dream, and it’s been a nightmare since.