binge eating, among other things

I think: I need to seek help with my food issues. I either eat too little or too much. I can’t tell when I’m full anymore or if I am hungry.

I need:  to get control over my food issues. It’s consuming too much of my time. I’m constantly thinking about food and dieting to the point where it’s distracting. 

I feel:  helpless, ashamed, fat, and like a failure. 

Today I: ate salmon with butter and 2 oz of cheese, a salad with bleu cheese, and a yogurt. oh and a spoonful of peanut butter.

I wish that: I could eat like everyone else and not become a bloated whale. I wish I could eat things that are convenient without feeling guilty. 

The worst part of my day today was:  sitting in that weed office with all those scummy people.

The best part of my day today was:  being able to throw away a big gob of peanut butter because I knew I wasn’t hungry anymore. 

Anything Else I need to sort through: I wish school was easier for P. He’s such a good natured, smart boy and school is just so hard. He is learning but he can’t focus for hours on end the way they want him to. He can’t finish his assignments and I’m afraid he will either begin to hate school or be labeled an idiot. I also need to learn to leave work at work. I spend too much time re-hashing shit that went on at work or may potentially happen and it’s not worth it. I’m never in the moment. I can’t remember things the way I used to. I hate it. 

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