Ever had a miserable first date? This one may give you a run for your money.
To give credit where it’s due, this one’s not mine, but rather belongs to one of my female roommates, Allie. Most of us started our summer jobs this week, Allie being no exception. She landed a great internship at an engineering firm (biomed major) and has been eager to start working there. She began orientation on Monday, and was approached straightaway by one of her co-workers. He asked her if she’d like to go to dinner with him (a professional courtesy, he claimed). He said he wanted to mentor her; he hadn’t been out of school for terribly long and was excited to have an intern to work with on his team.
Like any normal person would, Allie trusted this guy. She came home Monday giddy; wasn’t her job wonderful? The two had agreed to go out after work on Wednesday for dinner and drinks. This is the part where I became intrigued, Allie’s not 21, but this guy had assured her that wouldn’t be a problem. Still, why would you go out of your way to provide your underage co-worker with alcohol? As it goes, they venture off after work Wednesday to a little hole in the wall, certainly not the sort of place you’d take a first date (but it’s not a date, right?).
The co-worker delivers on his word, he’s able to get them both drinks. They have a nice little happy hour together, and then he orders dinner for both of them, telling Allie she’ll love the salad he selected for her. If you want my opinion, that’s douche bag move #1. Don’t order for a woman, either you’re trying to insinuate she needs to watch what she’s eating or you’re watching your wallet. Either way, let your ego go.
Presumably she gets some form of professional advice throughout dinner. Afterward the guy asks her if she’d like to go to his hotel room. Hotel room? Why would you need a hotel room? Either this guy took Allie to be a complete idiot or drunk, neither of which she was. He explained his house was being renovated, he’d bought a fixer-upper and it was under construction. Likely story, buddy.
She says she’d probably better get home, though she’s appreciated his time and advice. He drives her back to her car, but won’t let her go. When she reached for the handle, he locked the car from his side. It sounds as though he essentially attacked her, lunging across the car to kiss her, trying to force himself on her. Somehow Allie managed to get out of the car, and he followed suit, chasing her down and grabbing her wrist as she tried to get away, pushing her against his car.
My blood pressure really started to rise at this point of her recollection. What sort of asshole pulls a stunt like this? Allie managed to get away from him, though it sounds like she received quite a berating for not being willing to put out on what was marketed to her as an innocent dinner and some advice from a colleague. What a piece of work.
If this isn’t quite bad enough for you, here’s where it gets even worse. Today she found out the tool is married and has young children (apparently he doesn’t wear a wedding ring and didn’t mention anything about his family to her, doesn’t have any pictures of them in his office either). So not only has Allie been traumatized by being nearly assaulted, but now she has to work with him side-by-side each day for the next three months.
You’ve got to wonder who the hell teaches men like this how to treat women…