I’m in bed right now and this might be messy, but I had to write about this and pour my feelings out.
My cat, Picolo, might be dying. He has been sick lately and we brought him to the vet, but chances are that he’s dying of age. He’s a fat cat and they don’t live that long. It’s just… I can’t handle any more deaths. I can’t.
I regret not playing with him more, I regret ignoring him so many times. I went downstairs earlier and as he was hiding in a corner, I kept petting him, kissing him, telling him I love him. His eyes were barely opened, he could barely look at me. I knew there was dead spiders where he was, but my arachnopohbia is the last thing I care about right now.
I’m praying so hard to please not take him away now, that this is not serious, that it will past, but the vets don’t think it’s just a cold, but still they don’t know the seriousness of it, so please.
I’ve had him since I was little, he’s always been there. I might not have been his favourite, but I adopted him, I picked him and I am so happy that I did, so please, don’t leave now, I can’t do this now. I can’t lose someone else. I never experienced a pet dying. I’m not ready.