Sweet Vivian

May, Friday the 13,is a truly awful day. I don’t believe in superstitions. But now, tragedy has descended upon my family.

Vivian. A child who lasted one year on this god forsaken place, passed away. 

When hearing the news, I thought it was a joke. When I told my siblings they told me I was lying. I didn’t show no sign of remorse. I don’t think I was numb at the time. It was if I was expecting something to happen. Like death was nothing but a old friend I was waiting for. It sounds horrible. I shouldn’t voice my thoughts. I have to keep it to myself. 

Even though sweet Vivian  was my cousin. I felt nothing for her. Not enough to shed a tear. 

What that saying again? people die all the time…?

it doesn’t sound right. 

 Won’t mourn for her because she not mine. I won’t give my condolence to my aunt and uncle because it’s a waste of breath. Hearing “I’m sorry for your loss” it just a reminder of what the bad things happened to them. Reminding them what they have  lost.

i’ll think of her…I won’t worry for her. I will think of sweet Vivian and how she had a family who loved her. But I won’t mourn her. It won’t change anything…

it won’t bring her back…..

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