Passing out

I’ve found in myself that I do drink and drugs with the aim to pass out. Now I don’t know if that’s normal but surely that’s not ok? I drink and I drink until I black out and can’t remember. I do drugs with the aim to keep on going till I don’t know what’s going on. I just don’t think I’m made for this world you know? I’m not made to be here and sit around having a lovely life. I’d rather be doing anything to take me away. I don’t want to feel human because feeling like a human hurts. It hurts to feel not normal and not happy, I want to be happy. Why is that such a hard thing to ask? I envy people that don’t feel an essence of this. You’re fucking blessed in fact. You don’t have to go through the mentality of hating yourself. People say you just need to love yourself… Try being a person like me and try and love yourself, it makes it even fucking harder. 


Take me away. 

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