My cat is dead.

Wednesday, May 18th 2016

Heh. Where do I begin? Well, I guess the title says it all, doesn’t it?

I just took a shower, thinking about how I’m gonna write this, even thinking about writing about taking a shower and thinking how I’m gonna write this.

I guess I should start by how I got the news. It was just after my entry yesterday. Perfect timing, eh? (I sounded so Canadian there). Anyway, I heard my mom coming up the stairs and I went over to my bag, knowing that she has come up to comfort me. She knocked and opened the door (she never asks to come in, that’s what I find a bit annoying, but at least I got nothing to hide) and I went to grab my science stuff, thinking I might as well study and hoped that would be a hint that I don’t want her to. I heard her sniffling and at first I thought it was because of her cold, but I know the difference between sniffling cause of a cold and sniffling cause of crying all too well, so I turn around and see her eyes are very red, obviously she had cried.

“You should spend time with Picolo, we’re going to bring him in to put him to sleep.” Her voice cracked at the end. I immediately started crying and hurried past her and downstairs, where Picolo was just staring outside at the backyard, in a bed, barely breathing. I just sat there for a few minutes, petting him (he wasn’t even purring) and thinking “no” over and over again, until I couldn’t stand being in the middle of three people and just pulled away and went to my room. I started crying, I was already sick, couldn’t breathe properly. My mom came upstairs and I hugged her for a bit, but then I asked her to leave cause I could only concentrate on the awkwardness, just when she was about to say that she has to go talk with my dad. I don’t know how long I was in my room. It felt like seconds, but I truly don’t know. The word “no” continued playing in my head until I muttered “I can’t. I can’t I can’t I can’t,” all while thinking how I’m gonna write this entry, because that’s how I’ve always thought; in a sort of book form that has been replaced by a journal ever since I started goodnightjournal. After a few seconds—or minutes—everything went silent. I stopped crying, I stopped feeling, only hiccuping—the after affects of crying, you know? I noticed this. I was confused during that moment until I started crying again and looking out the window, wondering if my parents already left with the cat, even if I know they wouldn’t leave without telling me. I also started praying, but I didn’t even know what to say, so all I did was think “Seigneur”, trying to start something, but not being able to think of anything, so stopping at his name every time I tried. Then I stopped crying again and went downstairs. We just sat there for a while. They were going to leave in about twenty minutes, so I decided to watch YouTube. It kept me distracted, until my video ended and my parents said they’re leaving. I pet him a couple more times, before my brother did and they carried him away. At this point, I didn’t feel like writing. It was around eight, I didn’t study for my science quiz, I didn’t take a shower, I was heartbroken, sick and weak. I already decided that I don’t want school tomorrow, even if my art composition due tomorrow was going to be left unfinished. For the rest of the night, I just watched YouTube, played a bit of Minecraft and went to sleep, trying to pretend I’m in the Harry Potter world, but not being able to.

So, I woke up, couldn’t even talk because of being sick and crying so much. I didn’t set my alarm last night, so when my mom asked, I just croaked “no” to going to school. I’ve been watching YouTube videos all morning and finally pulled myself away, because I was too bored.

I thought that I should write about the good memories I had with Picolo. Just to put everything in a slightly more positive mood.

So I just went on my old iPod to look for pictures of him. I haven’t went on there for sooo long. It’s still much easier to type then with the android, even if the screen is so much smaller. I still remember my password as well, haha. It’s “PEWD”, short for “Pewdiepie”. And oh my gosh, the amount of games… I have no space for games on my phone. The screen is so small. I remember the lock button and home button is broken too. Alright, sent some pictures. They are much better than what I have on my phone. Aaand, didn’t work. Let’s try that again.

Wow, these pictures are from so long ago. Alright, well here is who Picolo was :


Picolo was a very affectionate cat. He loved to lick you, to rub against your legs, to put cat hair all over you, because he shed so much and had a lot of dandruff. Whenever you’d make breakfast, he’d rub against your legs and bite your foot, so you would have to put him in the basement until you were done. It was annoying, but I miss that now.

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He was also very funny. He would follow his adopted brother’s example by sleeping in the middle of the hallway or in odd places you’d never imagine him going. He’d also sleep in these strange positions as if he was reaching for the sky. My family would never hesitate to take a picture.

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His adopted brother and he would love to give each other baths, but it would often end up in a fight. We would have to break them up, but now and then they’d make peace.

I loved him very much. I don’t want to dwell upon this any longer. I have to let go and in the end, he had a good run, a good life. I’m glad I adopted him. Out of the meowing cats, he was the loudest, the most eager to be adopted and I’m glad I was the one to fulfill his dream.

That’s all for today.


3 thoughts on “My cat is dead.”

  1. Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hope you can stay strong through this, but I’m glad you can remember Picolo in such a fond and happy light and that you can always keep those memories of him with you. He was an adorable cat, and, I know you’ll see him again, someday. *Hugs*

  2. Your words about Picolo are very heartwarming. PrettyinBlack is right….you will surely be with him again someday. Psalms 36:6. Until then, may God comfort your heart.

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