Let’s talk about sex!

If you are down for TMI, you should continue reading. If not, you should probably exit this post.

Man, I love sex. Good golly Ms. Molly, this is a woman who loves the thing that tickles her peach. I like getting fucked, basically.


Now, being a mom complicates this process a bit, well, a lot. Now, I don’t make too much money, so I share a room with Jaws (the kiddo). She DOES have her own bed, but even still, have you tried to bang with this tiny, innocent creature peacefully dozing off next to you. Like, “OH GOD YES, JUST LIKE THAT, but not quite because this much moaning might wake her up.”Or better yet, when Jaws falls asleep in your bed, and you want to bang, so you both oh so carefully roll out of bed, and set up a makeshift one on the floor.


Handsome lays on his back, and you lift up your dress to cover all the naughty bits in case your sweet angel wakes up, she won’t see anything.

And as you try and start riding this handsome piece of man-meat laying on his back, you can’t help but glance over at the sweet baby, and then decide to go ahead and for SOME REASON you start having a conversation. You kill the mood (almost).

“Babe, this isn’t working, I need you on top.”

Handsome gets behind me, gotta love being banged from behind, and goes to town. Meanwhile I’m shoving my face into a pillow, clinging to it for dear life, on the verge of passing out, that’s how good that dick was, let me tell you.

And after everything is all said and done, we lay there, panting, sweating, and not but 3 minutes later, Jaws rises, much like a zombie from a grave, and stares, accusing us of doing the nasty.


This was just one instance, of course. We usually run through this process a couple times a week, of course not every single instance is like this one.

If I had to rate sex without a kid on a scale of 1-10, I would say it was about a 7.


If I had to rate sex with a kid on a scale of 1-10, I’d say a 10. No, I don’t always get to have my hour-long fuck-fests that leave me lightheaded and numb from a mind-blowing orgasm. But it does always give a special rush to try and not be caught, and I know that while I may not get mine this time around, I’ll get it the next.

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