3/29/16
Why am I immature and pathetic? Why is my anxiety seemingly getting worse with age rather than better? My insecurities and self-destructive thoughts destroy me from the inside out. No self-esteem. Second guessing every choice. Everyone knows I’m weak. I really think I only have friends because they think I’m too weak to handle the truth so they are basically doing me a pity service by sticking around.
I wish I had the courage to kill myself, but I don’t even have the courage for much else.
Nobody can love me. I’m unlovable, selfish, fat, self-centered, inappropriate, insecure, childish, unmotivated, scared, undesirable, unreliable, unintelligent, dysfunctional, and have terrible finances. Who the fuck wants a child? A mess to clean up?
I’m a shit friend, wrapped up in myself. I need the courage to die.
I let everyone down. I’m sorry. It’s not a good enough apology though because I’ll do it again.
