Nobody can fathom the magnitude in which I loathe my existence. I’m too low to be dug out of this.
I have nobody to truly share with. Nobody to reach out too because everyone has their own life. I’m a 30 year old pathetic waste.
Nobody can love me. I am too selfish. I binge eat and looking in the mirror cuts my soul down, I feel so worthless.
I try to reach out. I have friends. I can’t all the way, I am too much of a burden. They have families to care for, reasons to live.
I have nothing to live for.
There will be no impact when I leave.
I want to cut my skin, I haven’t in months because I’m embarrassed after, the same with drinking.
I can’t tell a therapist this or I’ll be shipped to a hospital where I’ll be forced to be medicated because God obviously makes mistakes. I can’t afford pills, I can’t afford to fix this mistake I am.
Everyone has moved on, progressed with their life, found someone to share a vision with. I have no vision, no talent, no hobbies, no growth to offer.
I’m trapped in a life that is unbearable.