Crossed my limits to get, what I just can’t

What do you think you are?  Alhamdulillah, I was strong enough to survive by my own. For the first time in my whole life, someone said this kinda thing to me. I’ve been keeping my soul neat and clean for all my life. Never ever sat with a guy alone. In fact, you were the one who called me every single time to sit with you,to go with you. And my weakness was I can’t refuse you. Whenever I don’t come,you were the one who asked me rudely what are you doing in your class, come here! Believe me I love to be with you, but i hate to go this way. If you love someone, It’s not neccessary to be with them as well.I prayed for you when we were not together, I prayed for you when we were together and i would pray as long as I want. I’ve been to strict with my values that haram thing is haram.I crossed my own limits to just stay with you and these limits were my life and I don’t think I could do more efforts just to stay with you, then this. I wanted to be a stranger with you but you were the one who started this all. On our kik chat, I lost control to my feelings and i wanted just to talk to you and this is why after telling you ‘it’s me’  I started to cry that I’ve done and shit’s going to be happened.But only I wanted is just imagine you as a friend, because  to me,for the very start  you were a person with inestimable worth and I didn’t think I could be more then a friend. What do you think I loved that part, when your friends called me your gf? Neeveehh

All I did because you thought me that if you want someone in your life, you have to do struggle for them.That’s it! You don’t even know how much controlled I’ve been, I preferred to be silent then saying something that would be inappropriate.I bear that because I told you I just want to stay with you. In my whole life,I didn’t  even reply any guy, if I knew they feelings for me, or I’ve for them. Because I’ve to stand five times in front of my Allah.

And now  to see ‘ are you even fine?’  I tagged you to that facebook post. and your friend’s like to your comment, was literally an insult to me. Because I’ve never been that girl and maybe this is just me, let them to call my name with yours. Now,my whole institution knows this, and every one asks me about you. So, yeah shame on me now.

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