Recently, my aunt came to visit. She is staying with my mother and I in our apartment. This morning she was being foul because she thought I was going to be late catching the bus. She complained about how she had made me breakfast and such and blah blah blah, but she really didn’t have to and I don’t know why she was being so rude. Anyway, I didn’t take my medicine this morning because my aunt was being rude then, too. I miss my friend Ashlyn who moved recently, across the country. Her aunt is threatening her, saying that she might have to move back, which would be a bad thing. I’ve been feeling kind of hopeless lately. Kind of down. Kind of apathetic and numb. Could it be from the lack of consistency in taking my medicine? I suppose. I always look back, at my past, and I always wish I could go back to a certain point and change things, but that’s not how life works, is it? I miss my brother, who is currently in juvenile detention. My mom doesn’t respect his gender identity and it hurts me. I can’t even begin to imagine how much it’s hurting him. I spent my life up to now and lived away from him for two years. Not in a row, but one year at a time. I feel like -because of that or not- I won’t ever be able to get to know him. I feel like I don’t know myself either. I feel lost in this world (though, you can probably tell by my username) I don’t know where I’m going, how I’m going to get there or anything. I guess that’s it for now. Until next time.
Songs I’ve been listening to recently;
Nobody Home- Pink Floyd
Because I Got High- Afroman
Captain Jack- Billy Joel
Boyz N’ Da Hood- Eazy-E