Dreams of anger

Last night i had the same old dream..of me yelling in my mother’s face about why she let our family suffer….trying to get her to admit her wrongs…i’m crying out for help from anyone, friends, family, therapists, and so on….to relieve the anguish, the loneliness, the open wound that never healed, the anger….and there was no one who could….i can see visions of an impending future…my vision has gone red as this other entity controls my body for the purpose of making my mother suffer for what she did to me….and i’m choking her out against the wall as i’m yelling in another voice, in another accent, from another person “WOMAN! DIDN’T I TEACH YOU NOT TO FU** WITH ME?!?!?!?!?!?” then i’m furiously punching her as she’s laying in a pool of blood….sometimes i almost want to despair as if this is a future that is bound to happen at some point….sometimes the future seems hopeless…if i don’t find the peace i’ve been searching for..what i fear most may happen without warning…

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