Maybe tomorrow I can finally work up the courage to get my hair cut.
I have long, straight hair now–down to my back. A few months ago, I cut off the edges because they were getting ragged and split, but my hair just feels too long again, and I have the feeling that it’s time to let a part of it go.
Funny, isn’t it, that I’m saying I have to “let it go”? It’s hair, it’ll grow back (unless I suddenly get cancer and my hair falls out because of the chemo which, you know, could happen, somehow) and anyway, it’s about time I get a different haircut. I haven’t changed my hair in years. Always long, always straight, always naturally colored (well, that’s only because my mom once said that she’d chop off my hair if I dared to dye it while under her roof) and always parted far on the right. It’s freakin’ boring. But then again, I’m one of those neurotic Virgos who can’t stand change, so I’m always boring, and my haircut is always the same.
I’ll miss my hair when I cut it though. When. I have to cut it off because I have this habit of hiding behind it when it’s long, and it’s really irritating, and embarrassing. I also have the ditzy habit of twirling it around my fingers and kind of pulling it when I’m stressed out, which, y’know, isn’t a really attractive thing to do when you’re talking to other people and pretending to be a normal person and not the alien you really are.
I used to have short hair. When I was ten. My hair went from being all the way down to my waist to hanging above my shoulders. It was a pretty awful look, so I’m not going to get it cut that short ever again if I can help it; I’m just going to chop off a few inches. Long hair gets tangled and snarled super easily, and it’s a pain to dry out, plus it alarms me when I brush my hair and pull a mini-handful of strands out (because um is it normal to lose like a hundred strands of hair a day or is it just me because it feels like I’m sick or something).
The funny thing about hair, though, is that you can cut it all off–shave yourself bald–without any pain. You can snip away at it as much as you like, and you won’t feel a thing. Sometimes it makes me wonder why humans have hair on our heads–what does it do? Wouldn’t it make sense for us to be bald? Hair attracts lice and pests, after all. I’m rambling, anyway, but it makes me feel quite curious…
Anyway. It’s only a few days until my sister’s 21st birthday! Woot! She’ll be able to (legally) drink! Which…actually…is not a good thing in my, prudish, opinion, but, I know she’s smart and she won’t do anything irresponsible or anything. God, I sound like a mother. I don’t even really talk to her now, she’s so busy with college, but I worry about her at the oddest times. I get struck with the most horrible attacks of fear. What if she gets hurt? What if she gets sick? I worry about her. I love her a lot, she’s like an idol to me, because she’s pretty and athletic and smart and hard-working and sociable–everything I aspire to be. I don’t know. I just really hope she’s happy now, happier than she used to be, when she was here, with us.
On a lighter note, in more than a week it’ll be Dan Howell’s (aka one of the lights of my life besides my family members, Phil, Hayley Williams, and some other people) birthday! Double Woot! Was it really a year ago that I saw all of those fanmade birthday wishes on Tumblr? Like that one with Dan as Christopher Robin, with Winnie the Pooh? It feels totally weird to think that I’ve already watched his videos for like, almost two entire years now…
And that’s it for today. Have a good Sunday, don’t be afraid to face a new Monday, and stay chill.
(Oh yes, and I forgot to mention that I’m having a huge emotional feelings-fest because of some fanfiction I’ve been reading. Don’t mind this, I’m just a sorry sap and I get teary-eyed when I read things. Introvert/book nerd problem, you know.)