Here goes my first entry:
Yesterday I was on my way home; It was cold. I was listening to ‘I lived’ by One Republic and I started thinking. About every thing. You know how you listen to a song you feel all warm on the inside even when on the outside it’s freezing, how you can’t help but smile, how you listen to the lyrics and start thinking about something and then realize how grateful you are for this life that you have. That’s exactly what happened to me. But then I realized that nothing in this world was gonna last forever. All the ‘forever?’ ‘forever and ever.’ doesn’t happen. I used to believe in Forevers and now I don’t really know what happened. Life did I guess.
You see I’m the kinda girl, afraid that I’ll live a life that’s wiped out in a few years once I’m gone. It’s probably my biggest fear. What if some day I just died? I might be present in the memories of a few even after I’m gone but in a century or two every one I know will die too. And then I wouldn’t have anything to show that I lived. I know it might not make sense. But to me it does. I fear the life (on earth) after my death rather than death it self. I wanna die knowing that I did something. And right now in this world, the only thing that comes close to forever is the internet so I thought why not put something up here. Something that’s going to stay long after I’m gone. Hence this journal.
I’m sixteen now (finally) and I have this bucket list of things I wanna do before I’m 17. I’ve been a prude my whole life and now I’m going to change that. I’m going to grow up and start being less dependent on everyone around me. I’m going to make this a year, that I will always remember. All the stuff that I do, all the things I cross off of my list I’m gonna write it here. So it’s basically going to be a journal. A journal of a sixteen year old girl.