They go quietly

They are dropping like flies only not as fast nor in such dramatic fashion. One minute they are buzzing, so full of life. The next they are without sound or motion. One by one they slipped away without so much as a good bye. How could they have possibly known?

They went quietly into the night. I wonder who will be the next to leave? I still remember the first. Maybe there was more before her, but I was too young and unaware to notice. I feel narcissistic if I’ve neglected one of the growing number. 

It’s a hard, horrible, sterile, cold truth. The older I get the more friends I lose to the great void. They are no longer in this life. Time for them ceases to be in this moment. It approaches me like a wave reaching up on a sandy beach, threatening to take me a way from all the definite awareness that I have ever known.

3 Friends. 3 Friends of mine have passed away while they sleep. It has happened over a course of years, but I am not old. I’m not even 35. Nor were they. It makes me want to stay awake all night, never shut my eyes again. My friends are not of this life. They are not plagued with fear nor worry because one by one, like a page turning softly, they go quietly in the night.

The pain of death is only shared by the living. We reflect on what we’ve losed. We also ponder what we’ve lost. My heart is heavy with grief.  I grieve for what the living have lost. 3 Fatherless children and a loving wife widowed far too early. 2 Children without their energetic dad so young they only know him from pictures and stories told. A mother and father devastated with the loss of their amazing daughter.

They go quietly into the night. 

2 thoughts on “They go quietly”

  1. You could write a very beautiful poem from this journal. One which repeats “they go quietly into the night.” It might help ease your pain, to fashion the words into something lovely. In my beliefs, there is Hereafter. But it is still so hard on those left behind. The pain is so deep and lasting. You are very young. I’m sorry you’ve had so much death to deal with already. God bless you.

  2. I believe in reincarnation, soul itself is immortal. So basically, I believe these 3 Friends of mine will reappear again on this Earth. Their souls are will be connect, entwined with new vessels. They ended one life to begin another.

    The void I refer to is more like a reference to the end of my relationship with them. It may be many life times before we meet again. 2 of the recent deceased were fathers and it saddens me to know they’ll grow up without their dads.

    I guess my more nihilistic take on it comes from the fear that a 27, a 33 year old, and a 35 year old went to bed and never woke up. I’d like to think when my moment comes, I’ll have awareness in my last breath.

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