Recently, I had to go to therapy for a personal matter (one which I will probably write about another time). During one of my sessions, it was decided that I had to write four letters to four certain men that have changed my life. This was back in March. It’s been two months and I still have not written a single word to anyone. I feel like I can’t move forward with my life unless I write these letters. So here’s the first one. Written to B.A., my first love.
Words cannot express amount of anger I’ve had towards you. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I think that because you knew that and because I made myself vulnerable, you took advantage of that. You cheated on me a number of times, you’ve called me names that you should never call anyone, you’ve told people about my personal life, and you even told me I should never have been born. And you’ve done all that without any form of consequence because you knew that I loved you unconditionally and you knew I would forgive you in the end. Well I’ve finally drawn the line. I’m glad you are not in my life anymore because you were one of the reasons I couldn’t grow up. I couldn’t have the things that I wanted. My life as a teenager was hell, and 80% of it was because of you.
I’m erasing you from my past. Forgetting you ever existed. I’ll NEVER acknowledge your existence. You’ve witnessed me fall, and you may be proud that you’ve broken my spirit, but you will witness me become something great. And I will be proud that you weren’t a part of it. You’ll still making nothing out of your life, while I will be finishing college, going to med school, and changing lives for the better. That will be your consequence.
People say “I’ll never forget you,” but in this case, I will forget you.