My ex-boyfriends mom drove me home from one of his gigs.
We’re still exes and were at the time of this happening. I am still in love with him and so I thought he was with me.
I had smoked a joint with him behind the bar previous to this and I was quite buzzed at the moment.
As soon as his mom and I got in the car, we started talking about him and about how I feel towards him.
“I want him more than anything,” I said to her. “I care about him so much, it’s stupid how much I care about him.”
To which she replied, I don’t remember. In fact, I don’t remember much of the conversation on the ride home. I do remember telling her I trust her, and I do, but I also remember being scared as she turned onto my road and was on the opposite side of the road for a solid 10 seconds before steering to the correct side.
And I remember sitting in my driveway with her, continuing to talk about her son who I had loved and given my all to.
And I remember crying. “Oh honey buns,” she said, as she put one arm around me and let me cry on her shoulder. “Please don’t be sad.”
Then she sat me up and looked me right in the eyes. She said
“You are a beautiful girl.
You are smart.
And I want you to promise me one thing.”
I had held my breath and examined her through stray tears. I’d never seen her this serious. We have very similar features; dark eyes, dark hair and freckles. Her brown eyes pierced but not in a menacing way. She meant what she was about to say.
You deserve someone who is going to try and you deserve someone who lives up to what you need and want.”
And there was more hurt in her voice this time.
that you’ll never settle.”
And I did.
I promised her I would never settle.
I nodded and said ‘I promise’.
So why am I still waiting for you?