Someone very wise told me to hold onto life, because in the end I should live every moment that I can, someday it will get better. But will it?

I still miss you, and its getting worse. I mean for crying out loud you got a haircut and I started crying and had a panic attack over it! That isn’t healthy, especially now that your not even mine. But I cant help that im madly in love with you… Can I?

People say I just need to move on. After all, I HAVE decided to press charges from you raping me. But were young, so honestly it wont even do much. But that’s still a big step for me. What if it messes up your future? I would never want to hurt you the way you hurt me. So what do I do when theres nothing left TO do.

I just miss you okay? Holding hand and sharing stories and playing video games. I miss your smile and your laugh and I just miss every single piece of you that ill never get back. What do I do now? How do I fix something that was never mine to fix?


I love you Bean.

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