I don’t have the right

What if your most trusted friend and the one you really look up to betrayed you? What will you do?”

I’ve been thinking a lot about people lately, how to restore faith in humanity again. I can’t think of any reason how to trust back stabbing b****h who always think they are so cool and holy but IRL they are just manipulative and controlling freak and after they are done with you, they are just gonna throw you in a trash bin. I’m so fed up with all their lies! 

It just happened 4 months ago when my so called FRIEND double-cross moi. I have this long time crush with my let’s just say co-member in an organization in our community and she knew that for a very long time. This guy also had a crush on me since high school but as time passed by, his feelings for me slowly disappear.  When I had my recent internship far away from our community and I kinda lost touch with my friends and to him so one day I tried to PM the guy just to say hi, and he usually reply fast, but that day he did not. So I was wondering what happened. And I saw pictures on my feed, pictures of them subtly together and I got curious that there’s something going on between them. And one of our mutual friend told me everything and I found out I’m right and it really broke my heart. I know I don’t have the right to be jealous or to get bitter about them but I just can’t stand the fact that they did that to me. I really felt ugly, helpless, discouraged and pain is really crawling to my bones, I can’t take it anymore!! So I decided, I will no longer be friends with them. I’m shutting down my friendship and feelings for this guy because he is not worth it. I am no longer responding to their PMs. I know it’s not the right thing to do but I can’t face them right now. I need more time to process everything and I need to wait to be healed. I hope one day I can face them like nothing happens. I also want to talk to them one day and tell them how I felt and how they broke my heart. Just not today

P.S I’m not really good at writing in English but I hope you understand whatever I said. 🙂 

2 thoughts on “I don’t have the right”

  1. You are better at English than you think. You are wise to take some time to recover, to heal. You need that. You don’t need a lot of drama right now. You need to treat yourself extra nice. And in the long run you’ll be able to forgive. Which will heal you completely. Blessings to you.

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