i dont know what to do

Confused that I don’t know what to do.
My bestest best friend just told me that she will distance herself with me. At first I don’t know why then I found myself not being able to calm down.

Now I know why,
My previous journal is about the guy I liked (for 7 years and until now) he is the main culprit why my bestfriend decided to distance her

I feel bad… my whole body is shaking… not from hatred or anger.. but from not being able to fully understand my bestfriend. I couldn’t stop being angry at myself because I feel like I am not doing my job as her best friend that is why I am devastated about what happened. I didnt know anything… i feel like an idiot.

My bestfriend and the guy I liked… dated. Not literally dated but they both show their affections with each other. You know what I mean?

They’ve been like that for 4 years. And I am always they’re chapperone. And I always give way to the both of them. I set aside the feelings that I have for him. I thought that it will be okay…

But now… i discovered something… something that is unforgivable… this guy confessed to me. He told me… that before he liked my bestfriend… he liked me first… and then he eventually liked my best friend. And there is this girl that he wont forget no matter what and he still loves his first love. And that is me. And this truth… is the reason why my bestfriend.. wants to distance herself with me. I am very hurt by this… i dont know anything… my bestfriend knew this all along but she kept loving this guy. My heart is partly happy but everything is a mess. I dont even have the right to be happy even just a little. Because by this guy… he hurt her… and I couldnt do anything to protect her. I dont know what to do… we’ve all been best friends ever since. I dont want this friendship to end. Tomorrow… my best friend told me to meet her…

I finally understand her pain… her pain that i didnt know.. and I am very sorry…

Even though I liked him for years… there is no way I will waver my heart for him. He is a jerk!! In the first place why would he court my bestfriend if he knew his situation all along!!! I can’t understand!

Even if it hurts… I still love my best friend…

One thought on “i dont know what to do”

  1. Dear one, what a mess indeed. You haven’t done Anything wrong, though. The fault is NOT yours. Your “best friend” and the boy you dated for years are pushing you out. Your best friend will probably come back when the boy dumps her, which is likely. Then you will be there for her, if you still want to. You need some new friends I think. These ones are not treating you well, like you deserve to be treated. I hope the future, near and far, are much much better for you, dear. Hugs.

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