When you walked away from the puzzle that held all the pieces of our lives together, I thought that that just meant it was time for me to find new pieces to fill your void…but, when our puzzle was coming to an end you decided to keep playing.
I don’t know why. Looking back at the past four months with you, I don’t know why things unraveled the way that they did. Why you walked away when it was hard, why you chose her, and then chose me, and then chose her, and then finally me… But I am happier or at least I tell myself that I am happier. My puzzle feels complete as if the story never changed, but it did, and pieces went missing that are still trembling about in the fear of what could be.
But as I sit here and stare into the eyes of the man who crushed my world, I also see the same man who keeps my world spinning every day. But am I an idiot? I forgave him, and continue to daily love him and pursue him as if nothing happened. Our puzzle is growing, and I am happier..? That’s different isn’t it. My puzzle is complete, but there are missing pieces surrounding the completed frame. So much unmarked territory, and so much territory that permanently damaged pieces.
…and maybe thats why I can’t move forward without him. The storm broke me, and the only person that can fill that brokenness is him. But I’m okay with that, for now at least. So here is to the growing puzzle.