Without a CHEAT


So all this while I was writing {sometimes} but anonymous always. But then I thought its not just me  who is this puzzled in her or his overly perfect life which somehow looks very much imperfect to us. Thus, I decided to share all I feel on here. Not because I want to inspire someone by a story to be followed but because I don’t really convey what I feel whereas I should. So this is for me and for anyone who can relate maybe.

Right now I a writing this sitting on a comfortable mattress with a great view of cars passing by just far enough that its not noisy but serene. Still I feel empty you know why because I got this all doing nothing. Yes you heard it right. Okay don’t overthink  😛 , I stay at my parents’ place.

I was always confused about things. Lots of things….realistic and most unrealistic. Like late nights I will walk thinking that this particular star keeps shifting and so maybe its an alien stocking me or  I will just be so much religious at times and question the existence of god at others. Not just this but easy things too like I cant tell in a restaurant what I wanna eat because I wanna eat each tasty thing available (I am a big time foodies….its a totally different thing to be told…some other time maybe). 

Yeah you must be thinking whats the big deal in all this but the big deal is these things confuse me equally bad as someone may be confused with a business problem. Yes, I panic easy. I have a long list of my negatives but I developed this one positive in me over the time which I am certain will take these negatives down at the speed of a rocket.

So what is that positive?

Simple….its that I have analysed myself enough to know my major negatives and understand the pattern of my wrongs. Trust me knowing your mistakes is different but accepting that your mistakes are because of you and no other force in the whole universe is different as well as difficult. But at the same time it makes you responsible towards yourself as you stop cheating on you.

I have cheated myself way more than I have cheated others :p( I assure you I am not a pocket picker). I have flaws but now I am willing to change and do all that which for now I am not really comfortable at.

Today is the first day of my acceptance of my real self and tomorrow is the first day of change I will follow without a  cheat. I will update you with what follows next soon.

Have a great time…night or day whatsoever. 🙂

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