This has gotten so hard for me. I can’t write like I used to and I don’t know why. My mind flows so fast and I have all these really funny stories that I can tell but I can’t find myself actually telling you guys. In all honesty I have told too many people about this site. I have told too many people that I write and I feel like that is a major reason why I haven’t been writing like I used to. Some people know too much about me and it’s not safe. Like if some people were to read certain blogs they would instantly know it’s about them. I don’t want them to see the blogs and I need to stop. I love this so much and I might my own blog page but it will never be like this again. I will not tell anyone on my blog about my thoughts but I will simply tell them about my day. I was stupid to tell anyone at all that I have this and in the moment I told the first person everything started falling. I couldn’t tell as much because I would lose really close friends again and I can’t lose some of them. If I ever finish my website I will tell yall about it but I don’t think I’m going to be on this site for much longer.
So let me just update yall on my life because I haven’t done that in a while. Where do I begin? Well I can start with the fact that me and my family are fully talking again. Nobody is fighting or anything and it’s peaceful for now. About a month ago someone told me that they believe that my family is different inside closed doors because we are so nice and cool in public. I don’t know why but I remember the entire conversation and it always comes back to me. I wish I could have that conversation with them again but I don’t like bringing up past conversations to people. There really isn’t much to tell yall about myself anymore. I stopped doing the things I used to do and I sit in my room a lot. I have literally just a half of day of school left and that’s because of my final exam. I need to study for it during the next two days.
So today I had church. Honestly, today’s service moved me. It opened my eyes beyond belief and I want to talk to someone about it but I can’t. All I can say is it put me in deep thoughts and honestly I needed to hear it.
Look at me. Look at how the literature that I write cannot compare to the ones of my past blogs. I just can’t write like my old self. I can’t write because someone will read this and they will get mad at me because I said something about them. So yea, I can’t say my thoughts. I never can anymore.
Well, this is about all for today. I will keep yall updated as I continue with my journey through life.