I’ve never been to that place of complete peace and happiness with my self ,within myself .I don’t know what thats like and I wish and so pray to God that I get there soon… because I’m tired of being scared , hating myself, being the victim and wearing my scars .I’ve grown so much … learned so much..but one thing that hasn’t changed is my self-hate and me constantly being hard on my self , comparing myself to other girls. This affects my relationships, past relationships ,friendships, my self esteem and unfortunately my social life. Going out in public or going out is a huge task for me . I always have to mentally prepare myself for it ..it’s hard having depression and anxiety ..it’s like not having control over your own mind. But I’m working on it and not prepared to give up .