Living, Communication, and Acceptance

Does anyone else feel like they’re just wasting their life away? I mean I have friends, but I hardly hangout with them out of school. I’m in a sport, but it’s not taking me anywhere. I work, but I spend my meaningless stuff. I don’t take up Jay’s offers to actually do anything. What is the point of living if there is no life to live? That’s why I’m going to talk to my friends, take up my mom’s offers to go to the gym, go with Jay on a hiking date or something. I need to do something before I waste into nothing.

Also, I need to communicate better. Me and Jay fight because I don’t open my mouth. I don’t know how to express my feelings out loud. I just sit there with a blank face while my brain processes my emotions and opinions, and I never express them. I need to treat him better, or I will lose him. I need to lose the negative thoughts and focus only on him. Jay is my everything, I don’t think I can lose him and not go to extremes. I finally can understand why Colin refuses to let go of Brittany. He loves her, yet he’s insecure.

One day, I will get better. I will actually live my life, express my feelings and opinions, and except that I should not worry about anyone else’s relationship but my own.


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