It has definitly started again. Two days in a row of drinking and shouting and getting angry about all of the things that have happened. The first day I was more restrained, mostly cried and resisted the urge to cut. The second day was a tornado. I was alone mostly agitated, ready to explode. Got drunk, fast and destroyed (literally) anything in my path. Woke to a room full of torn books, everything upside down a bloody shirt and aching head. The third day was void. Void of feelings, regret and depression and self loathing were distant lands on this moat of nothing. Today I am up trying too study but can’t seem to work out the simplest tasks. My mind is muddled and feels like knots upon knots being pulled tight by the stress of the absolute need too study.