Loneliness, that’s what I feel all the time. Surrounded by friends and family, yet always feeling left out or unwanted. The only time I feel accepted and loved is when I’m with Jay. Am I getting clingy? I feel as though I do and I get self-conscious. Jay hates that because at that point I refuse to talk. I need work on that. I know it makes him unhappy and I hate it when he is anything less than happy.
Very few people have seen the real me. The fun, smiley, girly me. I put on this b*tch facade so people don’t bother me. I use it so often I don’t know when to take it off. I like the person I am when I’m with Jay and my closest friends. I want to be accepted as I am, but I don’t know how.