My life has now become my life.

Meditation and Yoga are complicated! 

That used to be what I thought. What has been complicated is my soul. Not being able to release the negative and allow God to bring in the good. I finally figured it out. I disconnected my self from humans and the busy city life. Adventuring off into the swap never seemed more relaxing than it does today. Over analyzing ever detail that has happened in the day/ week, will cause you to melt down. It is not our responsibility to ponder on the past. We need to be able to move on and live in the moment. My depression has drawn from so many points in my life. I could blame the men, my diet, my looks, my friends, my family, I could even blame God. The truth is, I have been skipping over life. Throwing away all of my opportunities to live a full and successful life due to fear. I have feared failing since I could remember. All of my life I have spent in leadership positions. I did well in school and succeeded in being a great obedient child at home. I thrived on recognition from my parents. I always did just enough to keep everyone happy. Never did I cross the line. No chance that I would let them down. Let my self down. 

Isn’t that how we learn? From our mistakes. Is it ever too late to learn from one? I have had such a big spiritual awakening recently. (It is still going on) I have chose a path for me for once. I am going to travel more, do daily yoga and meditation, bring the word of God back into my life, study and finish a college program that will help me chase my dream (no matter how crazy it seems).  My life has now become the journey to making my soul smile. A genuine smile. 

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