How is it that dreams linger so. Here I am five or so hours later and it flashes in my mind. And it is so very hard to describe and it is a dream that left me so very drained and sad, so, so sad. Grief hits us in so many forms. Since mom passed I have had quite a few more dreams of late of people that are gone. And I think of all of them…my friends and family anyhow so much more and grieve afresh. So strange.
For this morning I was again dreaming of dead people. It’s strange sometimes they come to me in my sleep and I know it is them coming to me and when the dream is finished I feel…joyful or at peace. Other times I think perhaps they are just on my mind and not coming from beyond at all. Anyhow this morning. I dreamed about both my best friend from grade school and a former boyfriend from about 20 years ago. She died like 21 years ago, she was 42 and had cancer. He was 42 when he died too only he committed suicide 5 years ago . Anyhow in the dream they were both sick…Mabel was on a hospital bed and getting some kind of treatment. In my dream he had aids or something. But he was sick and when I hugged him he was burning up with fever.
And in the dream I was just like visiting them in the hospital and I was so sad and then I woke up. Its funny I’ve only dreamed of him a few times since he was gone…and I know in one of them I feel sure he was coming to me for real. But every time when I have dreamed of him since he has been gone he has been in a hospital setting. I hate dreams like that. I have felt sad and grief stricken all day. The thing is today for reasons unknown I am missing him and grieving him like when I first found out.
I am working overtime again and won’t be home till 9:30…but really all I want to do is go home and crawl in bed. I mean hopefully this time I won’t dream sad dreams because I am so very sleepy.