Xavier

Maybe this is weird but i am dedicating a journal entry on Xavier aka my boyfriend :*

if he ever saw that he might be weirded out.. 

xavier is like a sexy human who sometimes is extremly adorable he makes my heart flutter and my words stumble out of my mouth.. sometimes i dont know what to say.. i think he kinda intimidates me. he is older by three years and wayyyy smarter then me and better looking other people do not think so but they are irrelavent. 

I hurt him yesterday i went on an adventure with two guys into the woods yesterday i asked one if Xavier could go and he said that he didnt want many people to know about it.. so i figured i could go find out how to get there then show Xavier one day… i thought he might like that.. also you may be thinking “what is wrong with her for going with two guys into the woods they could have hurt her”.. well i can protect myself i may be only 5’2 but i can run also i am fat so it helps 😛

but anyway i went with them and was gone the whole day and Xavier never got to see me and he found out about me going when i was on my way and he was mad.. and this morning at breakfast i talked to him and told him where i went and why.. he wasnt happy.. 

he is currently very “disapointed” with me.. 

and earlier after lunch i went to see him and talk to him and try to calm him.. 

but uhhh he asked me how i would like it if he went into the woods with two girls.. i told him i would not like it and it would only be okay if i went also.. 

well this girl named Jessica walked by and he said “Jessica wanna go on an adventure?” 

she said “where to?” and he said “on this trail in the woods” and i walked away and then he said Tia i turned around and he pointed at her and showed me the thumbs up .. 

I know i was wrong but it was not intentional.. 

i dont know.. 

but he said he was going to ignore me the rest of the day.. and he is going on an adventure so yay for him :c

I honestly feel like crying im jellous and i didnt feel good today and now i just ughhh

im kinda pissed off.. 

but im not going to show him that. 

i dont work that way . ;p

if i lose him i lose him. 

i didnt mean to play games tho it was not meant to be like that. 

if you ever read this Xavier I am really sorry. 

please dont judge me humans lol 

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